Healing from drug and alcohol abuse

W. B. (39), Berlin (Germany)

As a teenager approximately 20 years ago, I did sports on the one hand and on the other got the habit-at 16 years of age-of smoking and drinking beer. A year after that, I was taking hashish. I was training to be a mechanic at the time and occasionally smoked pot with my schoolmates. As life went on these habits became a matter of course. Even as a teenager I was sensitive and required harmony. Whenever conflict or bigger problems came up I avoided them or anesthetized myself. I perceived my social environment as being very materialistic, but saw no alternative for myself. I felt helpless and could hardly articulate my feelings. The drug consumption gradually increased. I smoked up to two packs of cigarettes a day. Therefore I suffered from drying up of the mucous membranes of the nose and throat. Acupuncture treatments brought relief, but for only about three weeks. I would drink alcohol-mainly beer and wine-until I was in a drunken stupor. I also took hashish, cocaine and Speed as well. On the day after I would have a bad conscience, false sensations, diarrhoea and sweating attacks.

Jobless – disoriented – powerless

Until late 1994 I worked as a master mechanic in my home city of Stuttgart. The solidarity with my colleagues still gave me a bit of stability. In 1994, however, the team was dissolved for business reasons and I was suddenly out of work. With that, my girl friend at the time moved back to Berlin from Stuttgart. I actually wanted to immediately go with her, but my mother, who was still residing in Stuttgart, was at the time in very poor health. I felt torn apart. In 1995 I had a job for a short time in the mechanical area, but gave it up because of mobbing. I took more and more drugs to anesthetize myself and became disoriented. Six months later I followed my girl friend at the time to Berlin. There the drugs continued. I did it day and night, also taking Ecstasy and occasionally heroin. That destroyed the relationship with my partner, and thus I lost my last foothold. I sank into a state of indifference toward myself.

From 1996 on I gave out money senselessly for drugs and parties until all my savings were gone. I lost my driver’s licence and thereby an important prerequisite for further job-seeking. My relationship with my family was destroyed by my lifestyle. I had hardly any more self-confidence. I was plagued by feelings of guilt. My physical condition had worsened to such an extent that I was no longer capable of working because of my weak condition and sleepless nights. I suffered from depression, was afraid of getting up in the morning and felt powerless-as if paralysed. Now and then I wouldn’t even dare to leave the flat. My ability to concentrate was so limited that I could no longer concentrate on television or reading. Severe outbreaks of sweat would prevent any physical activity. Thus I was unable to do sports anymore. I regarded my condition as life-threatening and it was clear to me that I urgently needed help. I was caught up in a vicious circle.

On the advice of my family doctor in 1997 I underwent psychotherapy. After about eight sittings, however, I broke it off because I didn’t feel understood. I didn’t know what to say to the therapist. I didn’t take any medication. Halfway through the year I looked for a part-time job although I was still taking drugs. I had reduced my consumption a little because I didn’t have any more money. Now and then I was still able to work as a truck driver with independent routes without becoming conspicuous.

I had the feeling of having finally found my haven

It was at this point in time that I asked my mother to tell me something about spiritual healing after all. In February 1998 I attended two Community Hours in a row in Stuttgart. In April 1998 I was introduced to the teaching of Bruno Gröning in Berlin. In the first Community Hour I already felt at home; I had the feeling of having finally found my haven and was able to open myself inwardly. I immediately fell asleep.

Back to my inner centre

I was able to immediately accept the teaching of Bruno Gröning. Through this I discovered the meaning life anew. I had the need to speak openly about my problems in the Circle of Friends. In that same month I already found work. It was already going much better for me. I sensed the hope of being able to bring my life back in order with divine help. There was a lot to put in order and I was still smoking hashish and drinking alcohol. I participated regularly in the Community Hours and took in the healing energy.

In July 1998 I was able to stop drinking. I drank my last beer at a festival. My positive change led to reconciliation within the family, for instance with my sisters.

In August 1998 I gave up smoking cigarettes and pot. I have been drug-free since the summer of 1998. I was able to inwardly give up all the problems. It is so wonderful to get up in the morning without being afraid of life. I am able to cope in every way without breaking out in a sweat and can handle physical stress. I can deal with a work week of 50 or 60 hours with no problem. I can fully concentrate again, and I can enjoy a visit to the cinema or a lecture again. I am very grateful to have found my inner centre once more.

Psychologist’s comment:

Mr. B. suffered from cigarette, alcohol and drug abuse for twenty years, all the way up to taking heroin. As a result he found himself in a severe mental state which he perceived as life-threatening. He lost his girlfriend and his job. In the end he suffered from depression and anxiety. He discontinued psychotherapy after eight months without success.

In 1998 he learned about Bruno Gröning’s teaching and put it into practice, which led to the decisive change. He found new courage, gave up drinking a few months later and finally also the cigarettes and the drug abuse. He lost the depression and anxiety so that his psychic resilience can now be rated as high. He also found work once again. Such a total healing without any relapses and shifting of symptoms would be quite unexpected after medical withdrawal treatment and psychotherapy.

Dr. J. W., Psychologist