Healing from anxiety disturbance after consumption of marijuana and dependence on tranquilizers

Neal M.C. (22), Dallas (USA)

It all started very harmlessly for Neal McCoy. Like so many his age, he began to smoke marijuana for social reasons on weekends with his friends in April 2002. He liked it. But just three months later he had an experience that marked the beginning of a real martyrdom for him. While smoking he suffered a severe panic attack and had the feeling he was going to die. From this moment on he was in a different world. Although he calmed down a little, everything was still somehow unreal around him even though he took no more marijuana. And then, just a few weeks later in August, he had another panic attack that was at least as bad as the first one.

The next day he went to his family doctor. Out of fear the doctor would tell his parents, he didn't tell him the true cause of the anxiety states. The doctor gave the young man Paxil, an antidepressant that is also used against panic attacks, and the tranquilizer Xanax.

„My family doctor said I should take the Xanax when a panic attack occurs, but I didn't hold to that, instead taking it every day because I had such a strong fear of the panic attacks. The doctor didn't mention the possible dependence. Both medications helped, but I got severe side effects from the Paxil such as spells of aggression and a general feeling of listlessness. I sensed no side effects from the Xanax. After I had taken Paxis for a year I decided in August of 2003 to stop it. I wanted to live free from all anxiety without medication

I couldn't do without it

After it was relatively easy for me to "sneak away" from the Paxil within a month's time, it was the Xanax's turn. But after the abrupt cessation of the tranquilizers in November 2003 had led to terrible fits of perspiration and severe anxiety states I wanted to do it through a gradual lessening of the dose over a period of four months. Then, when I completely stopped the medication in March 2004, I got horrific withdrawal symptoms. I suffered the whole time from anxiety and the feeling I was going to die. I felt a continual burning in my body, couldn't sleep and had no appetite. It was as if I had gone to hell. I endured that for two weeks and then decided to return to Xanax and immediately felt better. In May I replaced Xanax with Valium (20 mg). I did that because I had been told that Valium was easier to discontinue since it allegedly left the body more slowly.

The third attempt

I became dependent on prescription drugs because I couldn't stop taking Valium, and in order to avoid withdrawal symptoms I had to take more and more.

I could clearly see where this was leading, and tried for the third time to get away from the medication dependence through resolute discontinuance. From August 2004 to January 2005, when I tried to sneak away from the Valium, I was totally incapacitated. I could no longer go to school - the physical withdrawal was hell. The only thing I could do was to pace back and forth and pray. In January 2005 I gave up and returned to Valium. That was my third futile attempt.

I went several times to the psychiatric outpatient clinic, asking in vain for help. Instead, I was given more medication. In may 2005 I took a long walk in the woods and in my desperation asked God for help.

The way out

A short time later I met a woman who told me of Bruno Gröning. I instinctively knew that this was something special here. On August 16, 2005 I was introduced to the teachings of Bruno Gröning by telephone, and on September 7 was able to attend my first Community Hour in person. What I experienced during the introduction to the teachings of Bruno Gröning was indescribable. My maltreated body suddenly became peaceful and calm while I was absorbing the Heilstrom. After that I knew that Bruno Gröning was my chance, and I tuned in twice a day at home to receive the Heilstrom. Immediately after the introduction I lost the desire to commit suicide. This feeling was replaced by the hope which I drew from the teachings of Bruno Gröning.

During the next months it went slowly uphill. I succeeded in reducing the dose of Valium from 20 mg to 10 mg, but I was afraid to give it up entirely. It is especially noteworthy that I watched films and television again and was able to converse with people - which had been impossible before. In April 2006 I attended a conference of the Bruno Gröning Circle of Friends in Detroit. After returning home I felt that things were really getting moving. I suddenly lost interest in many things that I had been interested in up until then. Previously I liked heavy metal, gossip and films with violence. After the conference I was surprised to realize that they now made me feel bad. A few months later, around July 2006, I had completely given up these interests. I was able to freely interact with people again.

Success

In October 2006 I finally had the feeling that it was time to stop taking the Valium. Yet I was still afraid of what would happen to me when I stopped taking the medication. The trauma from my earlier experiences was still vivid in my mind. On October 22, 2006 I completely stopped taking the Valium. There were only four more days when the old anxieties kept wanting to return, but through the absorption of the Heilstrom* and my helping in the Circle of Friends all the anxiety and panic left me. Thus after a few days, to my bewildered astonishment I was totally free from any kind of withdrawal symptoms. All of the futile weeks and months of the torment of withdrawal were as if dissolved! Since then I have been going to school again and have been able to do everything well there. I have begun learning a foreign language and am succeeding there too. After a few false starts I have got my self-confidence back and can enjoy my life again. In February 2007, five months after ceasing to take pills, I knew that it was the Heilstrom which had pulled me through, and that it was the hope of healing that had kept me alive. Without the energy and hope given to me by the Heilstrom and the teachings I probably wouldn't have survived.

Today, in May 2008, I am studying at a university. I have never had a relapse and enjoy the freedom of a fulfilled life. The teachings of Bruno Gröning have made a satisfied person out of me, for which I am grateful with all my heart".

Psychological statement:

After occasional marijuana consumption over a period of three months Neal McCoy suffers from pronounced drug-induced anxiety attacks. For fear that the anxiety would flare up again, Mr. McCoy takes daily the tranquillizer (Xanax, later Valium) prescribed as required medicine by his doctor. This is a highly effective anti-anxiety (Anxiolytika) medication belonging to the Benzodiazepine chemical group. The medicine works very quickly with acute anxiety and has hardly any perceptible side-effects, thus exhibiting a very high potential for addiction. The long and complicated course of a Benzodiazepine withdrawal is well known. From a psychological point of view cessation of the anti-anxiety drug without grave withdrawal symptoms after such a difficult and profound dependence is decidedly impressive and extraordinary.