Healing from severe depression and anxiety disorder
E. B. (50), Ergoldsbach (Germany)
In the year 1995, an ominous situation developed at my workplace - mobile nursing care - mobbing was becoming widespread. This caused me to develop permanent anxiety, and I could hardly do my job any more. In 1997, my frame of mind was so shattered that, for example, I was neither able to fill a syringe nor administer intramuscular Injections. At home I could no longer calm down, and I was plagued by thoughts of suicide. A neurologist had me admitted to the district hospital because of acute self-endangerment. At first I was completely sedated, so that I hardly perceived anything. After eight weeks without significant improvement I was released at my own risk on the condition that I undergo psychiatric treatment. On the one hand the prescribed medication did help me to somehow be active, but on the other hand everything was insensitive and mechanical. In the end it helped just as little as conversational therapy.
Unable to work
Since my work quickly triggered anxiety states, I stayed home completely without energy, depressed and sleepless at night. I quit my job at the end of 1997.
In the hope of improving my mental condition, I worked as a caregiver in old-age homes and for a nursing service. The result was complete mental overload, anxiety, the inability to act at work, and depression, restlessness, and lack of energy at home. I would quit a job when the amount of mental stress became unbearable. Neither psychotherapy nor a six-week stay in a special clinic in the year 2002 brought any change. Taking care of the house became an ever greater challenge. I was in a state of continual restlessness, which would only be interrupted by three hours at the most of poor sleep at night.
Resistant to therapy
The medication prescribed during the continual psychiatric treatment made a day-and-night rhythm possible, as well as a minimal, artificial normality without any joy in life. Every attempt to get away from the medication triggered conditions of despair. Nor did conversation therapy help; it only aggravated my condition.
In a miserable situation and searching for help, I changed my doctor and psychologist in the year 2007. I found the therapy there somewhat less distressing, but it didn’t change anything. I gave up various jobs because I couldn’t cope with the demands. Circumstances in my family in the autumn of 2007 caused a further worsening, and I withdrew almost completely from social life. The daily anxiety and panic attacks enervated me more and more. A change of medication also brought no relief, so that in early 2008, without prior consultation with the doctor, I no longer took the medicine.
Without medication, least the bodily symptoms such as “restless legs” disappeared. My psychotherapist set me the task of taking some kind of course. I chose yoga because I knew the instructor from contact between her children and mine. She gave met a flyer about spiritual healing with a contact address.
I left the introduction with a feeling of lightness
On June 27, 2008, I was introduced to the teaching of Bruno Gröning. I left the introduction with a feeling of lightness and happiness, and I couldn’t believe it. This feeling lasted as I began to put my household in order. I felt it with all activities such as cleaning, vacuuming, hanging up the laundry, or cooking. I enjoyed everything. Our family life began to develop. After three months, I went along on a family holiday in the mountains for the first time in 11 years. Only through my daughter’s remark after many months that it was going really well for me did I become aware of my healing.
Since the introduction I have been tuning in regularly and attending the community hours. Although I was doing very well, I kept the appointments with the psychologist and doctor out of a kind of feeling of obligation without telling them anything directly about it. The psychologist was astonished, was happy, and praised me when I told him about my activities. About six months later, when a new course of therapy would have had to be applied for, we said goodbye. The doctor recommended to me an initial reduction of the medicine with the prospect of possible discontinuance after nine months. He didn’t know that I had already taken no tablets for a long time.
I can now do everything easily which had been a torment for me before the healing. For example, during our last vacation, I myself sat at the wheel of our car for 250 miles. After once being awakened in the night by a gale and thunderstorm, I briefly tuned in to the divine energy and placidly went on sleeping. That was previously unthinkable, because such an occurrence would have put me in a state of fear and terror.
Psychologist’s commentary:
Ms. Brunner had a recurring depression with severe depressive episodes accompanied by anxiety symptoms, strong inner unrest (“agitated depression“), insomnia, severe chronic fatigue with just the slightest stress, and suicidal tendencies. This psychiatric symptomatology had already been chronic for years and had made a normal life with job and family impossible. Psychotherapy, medical treatment, and inpatient treatment were unable to eliminate the severe symptoms. Diverse initial and follow-up medical findings document the long-term course with its episodes of chronic depression classified as “moderate“ and “severe“ and the anxiety disorder.
The spontaneous liberation from this psychiatric disorder on the day of the introduction to the teaching of Bruno Gröning was, from a professional viewpoint, in no way to be expected and is thus inexplicable. The treating physician, as well as the psychotherapist, confirm the fundamental change in the condition of Ms. Brunner. The liberation from this severe disorder is, from a professional psychological viewpoint, extremely impressive. On the basis of the chronic course and the degree of severity of the symptomatology, the disappearance of the disturbance is all the more astonishing and suggests a pervasive healing through the application of the teaching of Bruno Gröning.
Dr. Weiss, Psychologist
